


Going soft

by limitedkirari



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author doesn't understand American Courts, Author is obsessed with Rafael Barba, Blow Jobs, Comfort, Courtroom Drama, Crying, D/s undertones, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Español | Spanish, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Moaning, Neck Kissing, Praise Kink, Self-Hatred, casefic, mentions of abuse, sonny is needy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 10:15:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18466891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limitedkirari/pseuds/limitedkirari
Summary: The case was extremely tough on everyone, especially on counselor Rafael Barba. He got too emotionally invested and all his other emotions came to light. But he wasn't worthy of love, at least not according to himself.





	Going soft

The case had taken a toll on them all, even the ever strong ADA Rafael Barba. A young boy had been abducted and upon finding him they found over a doussin children held captive in a remote barn. The icing on the horrible cake was reading all the physical exams of the children to build a proper prosecution. He was going to murder that man with his eyes as soon as he saw him. He was going to tear him apart at the stand and shred every piece of doubt any juror could have after viewing the images, documents and witness statements he has brought into evidence. All the kids found alive at the estate had been brought in and the man found at the scene arrested. Now he just had to put him away for life.

Straightening his murky green tie and smoothing his hands over the undoubtedly expensive 3-piece suit he sighed. He usually didn’t get emotional over cases, he could keep those emotions at bay but this one, this one hit home. One of the kids found had been abducted at age 6, he was now 23 and was completely mute. When he had met the boy he noticed how the life behind his eyes seemed to have disappeared. He didn’t even recognize his own parents. The anguished cries of the mother as she frantically tried to make him recognize her, even singing him the old songs she used to sing in Spanish. Seeing that woman reminded him of his own mother. Pinching himself between the eyes with the tip of his fingers and sighing he heads for the door. The brown portfolio feels comfortable in his hand as he walks out the door and down the building. 

The courthouse always felt so familiar, he felt confident there, walking in like owned the place. The heels of his five hundred dollar shoes echoed in the courthouse hallway as we hurriedly walked towards his office where he was to meet up with the SVU detectives to prep for the trial. Stepping into his ever familiar office set in the golden light of morning relaxed the man, some of the tension in his broad shoulders loosening. Just as he sits down there’s a knock at the door. “Come in” he calls causally without looking up. “Counselor Barba, ready to go?” It was the voice of Detective Carisi, the newest addition to the SVU squad. Looking up Barba locked eyes with him and gave out a choked laugh. “Oh, I am being escorted by the newbie now? This is retaliation from my poker night with Rollins” Barba says as he stands, wearing his trademark smirk as Carisi smiles sheepishly. “I won't embarrass you too much Counselor” he says smoothly as he gestured towards the door. “ Walk and talk” Barba says shortly as he walks past Carisi out the door. This seemed to have caught him off guard judging by the hurried steps behind him. “ They are going to try the insanity plea, arguing that he had no knowledge of what he was doing, I'm hoping our star witness will help us disprove that. You have talked to her, correct, Carisi?” Barba asks as they walk down the corridor towards the courtroom. “ Yes, Fin and I prepped her yesterday and she seems ready to tell us what she knows about her neighbor,” Carisi said as he hurried beside Barba, probably looking quite ridiculous with his height difference compared to the ADA. “I expect you to behave on the stand Detective, none of your stupidity please” Barba says, sarcasm dripping from every word. “ Of course Barba,” Carisi says, as they walk inside the courtroom together. Carisi sits down by the other witnesses and Barba takes his seat at the prosecutor bench. 

The jury was out making their decision. From Barbas point of view the jury was in their favor, their star witness had proved useful and the physical evidence of this case was astounding. The only thing that bothered him was the testimony of the accused's psychologist. He felt uneasy like his whole body was crawling with creatures. There was a possibility that they would rule against them. “Rafael are you alright?” The question came from Olivia, standing beside him with her hand on his shoulder. “I am fine” Barba said calmly. Olivia was a dear friend of his, and she knew how much these cases took from the man. She didn’t say anything, just turned around and walked away. She knew that it wasn’t gonna fix anything trying to press the man. She knew how he was pained, especially with his unrequited love. He hasn’t told her who it was he had feelings for, but she had figured out that it must be someone on the team. But pressing him wasn’t an option, he would only dismiss her with sarcasm 

“Counselor, the jury is in,” Carisi said, laying a firm had on the other man's shoulder, as to wordlessly provide his solidarity towards the older man's feelings. Rafael gave a curt nod and they walked together into the courtroom, everyone sitting and waiting for the judge to enter. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife, the only thing heard is the small weeping noise of one of the witnesses. She was only 16, the youngest witness in the case. “Please rise for Judge Lewis” a policewoman by the door calls and everyone rushes to stand as the tall tan woman strides up to the stand. “ Please be seated, delivering the verdict on the City of New York versus Mr. Versi” she says, as she straightens out her papers. Rafael takes a shaky breath and waits. Usually, he could separate his personal emotions from cases and verdicts, but his heart was tangled up. The older male sitting at the edge of the jury stand closest to the judge stands up, small white envelope in hand. “Jury, what is your verdict?” Judge Lewis asks head turned towards the man. His hands are very steady as he swiftly opens the envelope. “On 32 counts of sexual abuse against a child we find the defendant not guilty by the case of insanity” the man says, his eyes filled with apparent guilt. Rafael feels like he’s been punched in the gut, what about all the evidence, what about the witness statements? Breathing in he awaits the rest of the verdict. “On 32 counts of unlawful imprisonment, we find the defendant guilty”. Screams erupted in the court, parents calling out in disbelief. “Objection!!” Barba exclaims, “Could the jury please present the reasons for this verdict?” He asks, doing his best to not sound desperate. The man looks at the judge waiting for the go sign to speak, and it seems he’s given it. “The jury was missing the vote of one juror to convict the defendant of the 32 counts of sexual abuse. Said juror only presented the argument that they didn’t think he understood what he was doing” he says calmly. A woman, the mother of one of the victims found screams in Spanish and starts frantically crying causing the other parents to start causing disorder. “I will have order in the court!!” Judge Lewis exclaims. People quiet down and Rafael awaits his opportunity. “Judge, the prosecution will be filing an appeal against this verdict” he says quickly. “Very well. The defendant shall be remanded to Riker's pending sentencing” she says banging her hammer against the small wooden plate on the stand. Everyone stands and start shuffling towards the door. Rafael walks out of there almost unnecessarily fast, feeling the weight on his chest weighing him down. In passing he hears someone ask, “ Barba, are you alright?”

The fire burning inside his closed up lungs makes him want to claw his skin off. How could this happen? How could they rule for that scum of the earth who deserves nothing more than burning in the never-ending fires of hell. Bracing himself against his mahogany desk he tries to breathe slowly in and out. It was that mother, she reminded him so much of his own, singing Spanish lullabies to her child that wasn't her child anymore. The man was going to prison for a long time, but he would never be listed as a sex offender and could potentially commit more crimes once he gets out. Hot tears gather at the edges of his eyes, blurring his vision. The noise he lets out is pathetic, like the sound of a wailing child.

A knock at the door makes him swiftly dry his eyes and sit down behind his desk. “ Come in” he says waiting patiently for the door to open. “Sir, do you mind if I come in?” Carisi asks. “I’m not your mother Carisi, just come in” Rafael says, trying his best to sound like his normal sarcastic self but desperately failing. Carisi closes the door behind him and stands at the side of his desk, unusual worried look on his face. At first, Carisi says nothing, just stands there looking into Rafael's pained eyes and tear painted cheeks. “What did you want Carisi?” Rafael asks eyes darting down to his shaking hands rested at his desk. All Rafael wants right now is to hug the man in front of him, fall into those able arms and let himself be comforted. But he knows that is only a daydream, this young beautiful man could never feel the same. His eyes followed beautiful men and women, not someone like him. An old ADA with a sarcastic tongue, caffeine addiction and an adolescent crush on his colleague. Carisi had made him soft, his giant heart made of gold too good for a place like SVU, but also motivating him. He saw how the man cares for every victim that passes through his doors. He closes his eyes and sees the young man from before, his face cold like his soul had left his body while his mother shook him, tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks. Carisi was silent the whole time, just standing there beside his desk, hand bracing him against the mahogany table. This was the first time he spoke since he had entered the room, “ Rafael” is all he says as he places his large warm hand on the other man's. His shoulders quiver and the tears coming out of his eyes drop onto the papers on the desk creating large stains. Strong hands come up to his arms and turn him sideways. Now he can see the man in front of him, how his blue eyes pierce right into his soul and that beautiful slicked back hair. “Rafael, look at me” Carisi says slowly and so he does, and what he sees in the other man's eyes makes him quiver. In a second he’s being pulled into a hug, strong arms around his waist and his face meeting the soft cotton of Carisi’s shirt. He feels the other man’s hands all over his back, rubbing and soothing, his chin placed atop his head. “I’m sorry” Carisi whispers softly, regret lacing his voice. Surprised at the words Rafael pulls away, “For what?” he asks. “For us losing the case, I’m sure I could have gotten more out of the witnesses, it was that damn psychologist” he says, placing a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “It was the mother of that 23-year-old kid, she got to me. You made me soft Carisi” he says, almost shamefully. He’s not used to displaying emotions in this way. “Rafael, I think you should call me Sonny” he says, his hand moving from his shoulder to cupping his cheek, letting his thumb dash over his wet cheek. “How did you know?” Rafael asks, knowing Sonny will understand the question and its underlying meaning. Sonny smiles brightly down at the man. That damned smile. “ Your eyes wander at times Counselor, and even I noticed after a while. Fin was the first one to tell me after you had apparently checked out my ass in court. And he made me admit I was in love with you, he had seen me looking at you and forced it out of me after a few drinks. When I saw you running out of that room I knew something was the matter.” Sonny says softly, letting one of his fingers slowly travel along Rafael's bottom lip. Rafael says nothing, he just stares at this man in front of him, this man that he loved that apparently loved him back. For the first time in a long time, Rafael smiles a genuine smile, his cheeks still moist from tears crinkling as he grins. “Kiss me now or I'll find something to charge you with” Rafael's spits out and pulls Sonny into a piercing kiss, all teeth, and tongue, pressing himself violently into the other man, craving contact in all forms possible. Their bodies pressed together, dark expensive fabric meeting cheaply made thread as their press their chests ever closer as they kiss. “Get me outta here Counselor” Carisi whispers, his hot breath making the hair on Rafael's neck stand at attention.

The taxi ride was painfully tense, the two men sitting at a distance from each other, both knowing the other's intention. You could cut through the tension with a butter knife, all they wanted was to meet in the middle of that seat. But, as the respectful citizens they were, they wouldn’t. They are going to Rafael’s apartment, Sonny has never been there before, he has no idea what to expect. Will it be exactly like Rafael himself? Dark and rich, beautiful leather furniture and tall bookcases. Or will it be the exact opposite, small and modest with 30 coffee cups in every trash can. The taxi pulls into a beautiful neighborhood and Sonny is floored. He knew Rafael was wealthy, he dressed like he was but this was another level. His mouth uncontrollably falls open at the beautiful buildings outside as they pull over. Then his door opens and there stands Rafael, holding out a hand and smirking preciously. “Come on cariño” Rafael says kindly, the Spanish rolling off his tongue like syrup.

He must have looked stupid as he walked into Rafael’s apartment. The welcoming glow of the dimmed lights and warm interior called him in and he looked around. He saw Rafael’s diploma from law school, he saw articles framed hanging on the wall from Rafael’s biggest wins, and a picture of Rafael’s mother in her glory days. He’s pulled out of his trance by a hand on his shoulder pushing him to the wall and Rafael’s breath on his neck. “You look so hot when you’re fascinated cariño” he breaths against Sonny’s neck and he shudders. Rafael places small kisses all the way up to the other man’s ear and he playfully nibbles on his earlobe. “What do you want Sonny?” he asks playfully as his hands travel down his sides, feeling the lithe muscle under his hands. Sonny thinks of all the things he wants from this man. His hands, his mouth, his cock. But he also thinks of all the other things he wants, lazy mornings spent in bed, dates, walks holding hands, everything. “Please, Rafael, promise me you won’t regret this” he pleads and Rafael stops. He looks up at the man in front of him, his gelled down hair all over the place because of his hands, those beautiful pink lips wet with anticipation and his pleading eyes, pupils were blown wide. “Sonny, I have wanted you for so long. I’ve spent so many nights thinking about you, about what I’d do to you; how I’d pleasure you in every way you could ever ask. I’ve thought about spoiling you, giving you all the things you could ever need, making you happy. Sonny, I’ve wanted this for forever” Rafael finishes his sentence with a sharp hip thrust, their groins meeting and moans roll of both their tongues. “When you came into my office today, I felt such intense shame at you seeing me in the state I was, and still am, because of this case. But it led to this, something beautiful. I won’t regret this. This is not because I’m sad or desperate after a case Sonny, this is real” Rafael finishes with his hand cupping the other man’s cheek lovingly. The primal look in Sonny’s eyes is the last thing Rafael sees before he’s pulled into another kiss, Sonny willingly opening his mouth, inviting the other man’s dominating tongue in. They both moan at the back of their throats as their tongues intertwine and Sonny involuntary jerks his hips towards Rafael but a hand stops him. Next, his arms are pinned against the wall by Rafael as he sucks deep dark marks into the man’s pale skin, marks that would show above his suit collar, telling people that he was taken. “Ay Dios, there are so many things I’m gonna do to you. I’m gonna push you down to your knees, pop that pretty mouth of yours open and push my cock down your throat. Wouldn’t you like that Sonny? I know just by looking at you that all that you want is to be dominated. Isn’t that right cariño?” The tone in Rafael’s voice is menacing and electric, his eyes now fully meeting Sonny’s as their faces stand only millimeters apart. Sonny nods hurriedly, his checks blossoming into a deep crimson that Rafael is sure tracks all the way down his pale chest. “I need you to say it Sonny” Rafael ushers as he unbuckles Sonny’s black leather belt, knowing full well the answer to come. But hearing it was important, he wanted Sonny to know he wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want. “Rafael, I want your cock so badly, please” Sonny practically begs his mouth hanging open. That was surely a sight to see, guess he had been right after all. Sonny kneels and fumbles with Rafael’s belt, pulling down his suit pants as Rafael himself throws off his jacket and tie, leaving only a crisp undershirt left. The moan that erupts from Sonny’s lips as he touches Rafael’s cock for the first time is almost comical. So he was a cockslut after all, Rafael thought, one might wonder what else he’s into. His thoughts are interrupted by a wet mouth upon his thinly clothed tip as Sonny kisses his cock through his underwear, moistening the fabric. The feeling of that warm mouth in the exact place he wanted it to be made him feel near dizzy with lust. There Sonny was, on his knees for him like the good boy he was. He was so good. He feels his underwear slide down his thighs and his cock is enveloped in warm heat. Jesus was all Rafael could think as his hips shoot forward causing Sonny down below him to moan. 

“You’re so fantastic Sonny, Mi Amor” Rafael moans as he strokes the man’s cheek, feeling them expand as he sucks. There’s a tightening at the bottom of his stomach, like hot burning lava streaming underneath his skin. The feeling of Sonny’s tongue swirling around the head of his cock, leaking heavily with pre-come was making his knees go weak. Sonny has his back to the wall as Rafael braces himself with one hand against the wall as he lightly thrusts into the other man’s willing mouth. Mierda! He couldn’t come down this beautiful man’s throat in 5 seconds. He pulls out slowly, savoring the feeling of warm lips slowly sliding off his cock. “W-wasn’t that good?” Sonny says, voice slightly hoarse. Rafael reaches down to cup the younger man's cheek sweetly. “My boy, you are so beautiful and I couldn’t have this ending so early now could I?” Rafael utters. Sonny moans pathetically and it becomes quite clear what Sonny needs from the man above him. Rafael takes his hand and leads him towards his bedroom, fully intending to take good care of him. 

The bedroom consisted of a large bed, a dark wooden frame with a thick mattress, dark red covers and an abundance of pillows. He pulls Sonny towards the bed, kissing him deeply as he pulls him down by the tie. Settling on top of Sonny he starts to slowly unbutton the cheap shirt to expose beautiful skin. “Let’s get this off you carino, I want to see you” Rafael rumbles and Sonny only whimpers in response, pushing his hips upward to meet Rafael’s. With his free hand, Rafael pushes Sonny’s hips down. preventing any friction to his aching cock. The shirt is discarded and Rafael starts planting kisses along the pecs of his lover, sucking marks into the flushed skin. “ I need to know Sonny, how much do you want tonight? We don’t have to do it all right away darling, we have all the time in the world” Rafael whispers as he places a soft tender kiss over a mark he just made on the other man's chest. He wanted the other man to know that he talked a lot, but only really wanted his boy to be happy. “I, Rafael, please just like this” Sonny croaks, pushing his hips up against Rafael again, whimpering quietly at the friction. Rafael nods as he grinds his hips down, feeling the outline of Sonny’s hard cock against his. They both moan as they rock against one another for more friction. After a few seconds, Rafael sneaks his hand down to unbutton Sonny’s pants and stick his hand inside. He gives Sonny’s cock long drawn out strokes, from bottom to tip while kissing his neck. Sonny moans and begs for Rafael to go faster. “ Rafi please, please oh fuck go faster” Sonny yells, his whole body shaking with pleasure. Rafael chooses to quiet him by catching his mouth in a sloppy kiss, allowing his tongue to lick inside. “Come for me my boy” Rafael whispers and that pushes Sonny over the edge and he comes. All his muscles convulse and his semen covers Rafael’s fingers. “There you go baby, you were so good” Rafael whispers as he raises his fingers to Sonny’s mouth, and promptly Sonny cleans them with his tongue. “Mierda Sonny you will be the death of me” Rafael exclaims, then he feels hands rubbing his hard cock and he moans yet again. “Now let me take care of you Counselor” Sonny says cheekily as he unzips him and strokes him quickly. It doesn’t take long until Rafael can feel the hot lava forming in his lower stomach yet again, and he cannot believe that it’s actually Sonny’s hands on him now. “ Oh fuck Sonny I’mgonnacome” Rafael barely has time to finish his sentence before he sees stars, he can also hear himself moaning ‘Sonny’ throughout his orgasm. 

“That was way too good to be true” Sonny says as they lay down beside one another on Rafael’s large bed. “I hope I didn’t overstep Sonny” Rafael says quietly, hoping he hadn’t weirded Sonny out. “Oh Rafael, trust me, next time you can go much harder” Sonny says and winks flirtatiously at Rafael. 

Rafael was so fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> S O yeah that was a thing that I did. I must admit watching Law and Order SVU I completely fell for Rafael Barba, and natrually started shipping him with Sonny. This is my first attempt at writing something proper with them, hope people like it! Also FYI I do not know Spanish but I tried.


End file.
